Hey Ya'll!
My name is Reeda Redneckerson and I am really scared. I woke up last night drenched in sweat and sat straight up in bed, terrified. I mean really terrified, like I had a really bad nightmare. You know how you get really bad nightmares after watching something scary on TV? Well, you are not alone, what I saw on TV really scares me.
Last week I saw Michelle Obama on TV. No, that wasn't the scary part. It was what she said. She said that she wanted to get rid of french fries. That's right french fries. I guess she thinks they are not good for you. Well, I guess when I went to sleep that night my subconcious brain got to work on that and that's when I woke up in a cold sweat.
I'm not exactly the smartest person in the world but I do cook up a good mess of grub for hungry folks when I get a chance and it occured to me that french fries is basically fried potatoes. So, by my calulations, if Michelle Obama doesn't want us eating french fries then what about hash browns and tater tots. Those are fried potatoes. Is she getting rid of those too? I'm thinkin' she's not too keen on country fried potatoes either. You know, the ones that are fried up in bacon grease. Then of course there's potato chips, yep, that's right fried potatoes.
Were does that lead us? Crisco. That's right Crisco. Did you know that Crisco makes the flakiest pie crust? Are we going to have to give up pies as well? Well, there goes Christmas. My daddy loves a Texas pecan pie at the end of Christmas dinner. It has corn syrup and Crisco.
As soon as the Piggly Wiggly opens up this morning I am heading straight over there. Cause I am gonna bet that my favorite food is on the forbidden list too. Marshmallows. That's right marshmallows. They are nothing but sugar and corn syrup. I'm gonna start hoarding marshmallows starting today.
Gee thanks, Reeda. Now I'm gonna have nightmares too.
ReplyDeleteWho does Michelle think she is, messing with our gastronomical delights.
Seems to me she should start policing her own husband's eating habits first. Isn't he the one who ordered a hamburger with a double order of fries?
I'd like to ask her what she expects the starving masses to eat.
She'd probably tell me, "Let them eat cake!"
(Didn't another woman say that once and didn't she lose her head over it?)
Sweet Dreams, Reeda.
Freakie Republikowski
Watch the movie, dude. We're all going to be eating soilent green. Why do you think we hear so much about the "green" movement and "green" jobs?? Recycled food. It's coming!!!!! Unless of course you are one of the "elites".
ReplyDelete